There are inevitable moments in life, when you’re faced with so many predicaments which are more than you can handle. You feel so enclosed in all the problems, that it’s as though your life were coming to a stand still, and there’s nothing you can do but endure it. And even if you seem to be surrounded by people who you know really care, you can’t bring yourself to tell them what you’re going through.. You don’t want to breathe a word of it to anyone. You refuse to talk about it because maybe, just maybe.. if you don’t say it out loud, it’ll seem a little less real. Maybe it’ll all turn out to be a dream, a nightmare that will soon be over once you wake up. But the thing of it is, you are awake. And it’s not going away.

Because happiness is really but fleeting. If you don’t grasp it the moment it comes to you, you may have just let something good pass. The sad part is, you can never take that moment back.


It seems so strange and in a sense funny, how you can go from feeling so good to just turning tables and seeing nothing but all the bad. I don’t know if this is how you classify somebody as “bipolar”, but it doesn’t seem that way to me. Being bipolar entails extreme mood swings for unexplainable causes.. And for me, it may be that way but only in the slightest. I guess we all just like to say we’re bipolar so that we don’t have to admit to ourselves that we know the reason why we’re actually being eaten up by a crushing loneliness inside. We think it’s just some strange mood swing, but deep down we know all too well why and are just afraid to acknowledge the uprising thought. And so you shut out every unwanted idea, and at one point you just break. Inevitably.

(Products of listening to the song Safe and Sound nonstop. Honestly, what a song can do to me. This happens a lot, and I wish I could control it. Haha. Sadly, it doesn’t seem to be the case. So expect more these splurging thoughts of mine as I continue to venture into the varied songs of yesteryear and today.)

“When my time comes, forget the wrong that I’ve done. Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed. Don’t resent me; and when you’re feeling empty, keep me in your memory. Leave out all the rest.”

(via akosimissgwapo)

‎”It’s tiring and frustrating, I thought I really knew the person whom I know for like, 2 years or so.. then I just found out that we’ve grown apart. Sad to say but I think I have to end this chapter. My medulla’s stressing me out. I have to ask my hypothalamus to calm for a while and let me sleep. Time to rewrite that chapter and remove that erroneous scribble in that annoying part, for tomorrow I’ll start fresh.”

“Oh, it tears me up. I tried to hold on but it hurts too much. I tried to forgive but it’s not enough to make it all okay.”

Yung hindi mo na malaman kung ano ang dapat mong maramdaman. Galit? Lungkot? Awa? Pagkamuhi? Hindi mo na alam kung ano ‘yung nangingibabaw. Masakit isipin, pro ‘pag nandun ka na sa sitwasyon na ‘yun, hindi mo na rin alam ang gagawin mo.

What happens when everything you turn to falls apart? Family, friends, school, relationships.. Where do I turn to now? Where shall I stand? To whom should I hold on to? I don’t even know. Everything becomes everything I hadn’t expected.

Don’t you think it’s sad that you already get immune to those recurring aches that people brings you? It makes you numb and disheartened. I don’t think it’s a good thing. The worst? You couldn’t even blame them, because they do not know it in themselves that they cause you pain.

Time passes by and then you realize that those people never did ask you if you’re okay with the things that they have done. They didn’t even bother thinking that they are hurting someone. They came and they left. You were once a complete person and now there’s a missing piece of your heart suddenly. Human nature, I guess. After they get what they truly wanted, they will leave you hanging in the open air. Like you don’t mean a thing to them, despite the respect that you have given them when they were experiencing the same kind of pain that you are currently going through.

You did all you could. You have laid down your pride and set aside your doubts in order to rekindle what’s already shattered. But then you began to realize that you’ve been strong for long enough, and you can’t go on forever humbling yourself and reaching for them which are as high as the skies. You began thinking of all the things you have missed, the pride of yours and self-esteem that were lost along the way. It’s just plain sad.

But the good in here is, you move on. You start to accept that even the people you have labeled as friends, can hurt you in a way that you don’t really expect. You become blank everytime you hear their name, you begin to create a new chapter, you start forgiving, but the pain, it’s just there. The pain never really goes away. You just started to learn how to cope with it. And there’s nothing you could do. You can’t turn back the hands of the clock to undo what has happened.