I admit I haven’t been the best girlfriend lately. I screwed up. A lot. I’ve been selfish thinking about my feelings, and maybe I forgot about his feelings. As I type this, maybe he’s moving on for good. Who knows, right? I can’t really blame him. I’ve hurt him time and time again, and maybe it’s too much to forgive. I know I am so stupid. But I still believe in us. I am still hoping because I love him. But if this is really the end for us, then I just have to accept it. If this is the end, I’m going to be strong. But.. I’m going to regret everything I said that night for the rest of my life.

So kagabi, nagusap kami. Sobrang sama talaga ng loob ko. I mean, I was there for him all the time, and the time when I needed him, he wasn’t. He went with his friends. Sino ba naman ang hindi magtatampo doon? Hindi naman ako selfish eh. Okay lang naman na sumama siya sa friends niya. Nakakasama lang ng loob that time kasi kailangan ko talaga siya. So nagtext siya, siya pa yung galit. He thinks na ako nanaman ang nag i-inarte. Well, inaamin ko naman minsan na hini-hiling ko na sana ako nalang palagi eh, pero alam ko naman na hindi pwedeng ganoon, and that’s fine with me. Really. Siguro nag eexpect ako msyado sakanya? Pero ganun naman kasi dapat gawin diba? Hindi naman ako expect ng expect lang. Pero anong ginawa niya? Pinamukha niya lang saakin na ako ang may kasalanan. Gusto ko sabihin side ko, but when I do, ako parin ang talo. Once na magsalita na siya, hindi ko naman alam anong masasabi ko eh. Edi siya nalang ang tama, at ako nalang ang mali. At yun na nga, sinumbat narin niya lahat ng ginawa kong mali at masama, dati. I was too hurt to defend myself. So, sige. Ganyan naman lagi eh. And guess what? Kinonsenysa niya pa ako :| Kasi nag reason out ako, so he became so sarcastic at sinabi niyang, “Oh sige. Ako na ang mali. Sabihin mo sa lahat na ako ang mali. Ako may kasalanan.” Grabe, I didn’t know what to say.

This break up… It’s not fucking easy. But I have to be strong. Kanina, he buzzed me sa Y!M,I THOUGHT HE WAS READY TO PATCH THINGS UP. Pero, I was wrong again. So, I took a screenie of the convo we had. 

AND THE REST WAS HISTORY. FUCK. MY. LIFE.

I still don’t know what to say. He seemed happy today. So yeah. Magpakasaya siya. Tama yan. SPEECHLESS ako. We fucking ended up this way :(